


The Perils Of Googling Love

by decadent_mousse



Series: Do Robots Dream Of Electric Kaiju? [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 17:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decadent_mousse/pseuds/decadent_mousse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann thinks he may be in love with fellow robot, Newt, but since he has no basis for comparison he decides to do some research on the internet with... mixed results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perils Of Googling Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bravinto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravinto/gifts).



> Another spontaneously written fic in the robot AU me and bravinto created. It's unbeta-ed, so if you spot any glaring errors, let me know! <3

Hermann had a very basic, vague understanding of what love – specifically romantic love – entailed. He had, after all, had the misfortune of witnessing plenty of his master’s attempts at wooing other members of his species, and if he had learned anything from these frequent attempts over the years it was that love, in general, was a very confusing and complicated concept that was probably best left alone.

Yet here he stood in his storage closet, looking up love on his internal internet browser away from the prying eyes of his master, who was hopefully too busy watching Netflix to wonder what Hermann might be up to.

Typing “love” into Google got him roughly 1,690,000,000 search results. He opened the Wikipedia article in one tab, several different dictionary definitions in several other tabs, and a– what on earth was a “love calculator?” Curious, he clicked the link, opening the Love Calculator in yet another tab.

It led him to a website describing a dubious process of calculating a pairing’s chances of success based purely on entering their names into the form and clicking the button to discover the results. It claimed to have been constructed by some of the finest software engineers MIT had to offer, but Hermann wasn’t entirely convinced. If it were true, he doubted there would be ads for male enhancement at the top and sides of the page or that they would have used such a garish shade of hot pink as their background color. …Or that they’d have a list of canned-sounding endorsements at the bottom from Vogue magazine.

Nevertheless, he entered his name and Newt’s and pressed the button.

…Fifteen percent chance of relationship success?

“Ridiculous!” Hermann exclaimed internally, nearly forgetting himself and accidentally exclaiming externally as well, though he doubted his master would hear him with his television’s volume turned up so high.

 _“Who are you calling ridiculous?”_ an indignant message chimed. _“I’ll have you know I was programmed by some of the greatest mathematical minds of this century!”_

A quick scan of the website’s properties told Hermann all he needed to know. “You must be joking. You have some of the shoddiest coding I’ve ever seen, and I helped beta-test the latest version of Bing.”

He got a very strong impression of an offended tone with the next message. _“How_ dare _you!”_

Suddenly the eye-searing website disappeared from view, replaced by a “website could not be displayed” message.

“Yes,” Hermann replied. “Yes, that’s very mature.”

The page changed again, to a 404 page with an image below the error message of a hand with the middle finger extended.

Hermann sighed and closed the tab, moving on to the other tabs to continue his research to try to determine whether or not he was in love with his fellow robot. He was hardly going to let a poorly made algorithm on an Angelfire site dictate his life choices.


End file.
